Struggle Between Inner and Outer Self

The session started with a meditation exercise. The idea was to control the mind because mind is a wanderer and when we are seeking answers about SELF, we need to have a calm mind.

First two question asked by Chitranjan ji our facilitator for the session were :

• Why you are here today ?
• How will you change post session ?

All the participants gave different answers of the two questions and then the discussion went on. The big question that we pondered upon was, "How do we understand the conflict between inner and outer self ?"

Then we had an exercise where he proposed that for one hour let us assume that the relationship between inner and outer world is helpful in reaching our destination. And now share our views in the group with a situation that holds true for above.

We also discussed the distinction about FEAR and PHOBIA. 

Mostly during the entire session we were talking about conflict between any two ( it can inner and outer self or between two different individuals) and it happens mostly at four different levels. They were :

• You and I are adversary and the powerful person wins (No Point of Dialogue or understanding)

• Presence of adversary motives other to empower himself and then fight (One Wins, other Loses)

• Whenever two people are at conflict, one will try to understand why we are at conflict and look for others weakness and strike at them to win

• Whenever there is a conflict both sides try to understand the complete picture, dialogue and come to a conclusion (Win- Win)

For me the two were more importantly my inner and outer self. The constant struggle to be one has taught me many things about myself, has helped me in improving myself. Still there is a long way to go and huge scope of improvement but being aware of the facts and moments when this conflict happens gives me peace and opportunity to learn. 

(Just to add here, I know an amazing book " Seven Habits by Stephen Covey" that talks about this in one of the habits, "Think Win-Win". I would request you all to read that book. It has been a blessing for me, I still keep a copy of it with me and have recommend it to many. Please dont read it as a book but what worked for me was that I read one habit 2-3 times and then tried to imbibe it in me and then move to next. )

Apart from this couple of things that stood apart for me were:

• What I am today = What I was yesterday + What I learned today (what I learnt today majorly comes for reflection

• We also had a conversation around authenticity. Children should be given opportunity to express authentically because it is extremely hard as a kid to keep extreme emotions inside. 

• It is important to be aware of what we are saying, doing , thinking. Whenever we lose awareness we lose opportunity to learn.

Note: This happened during a learning event for the Changeloom Program of Pravah at Kolkata. 

(Chittaranjan Kaul is the Co-director Center for Learning Resources, Pune and also Board Member, Gandhi Fellowship)